Pearl’s (of) Wisdom: Advice and Musings from the Big, Bad Bitch of Shag

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At Shag, there are a lot of perks…toy samples, lube samples, work homework that involves having sex, I could go on. But the best perk is getting to spend time with Pearl, who is as wise as she is beautiful and badass. I got to sit down with Shag’s own mascot cum protector cum patron saint, Pearl, to share some of her life wisdom. For those of you who haven’t stopped by our Brooklyn space, Pearl is a gorgeous, fierce pitbull, unencumbered by shyness, self consciousness, or hesitation. Pearl is nothing if not confident and decisive. Luckily, for this blog, she allowed me to share her top ten secrets to being so…Pearly.

ONE Find someone who treats you right and keep them around

“I happen to have found this woman Sam, and let me tell you she’s got it all. She’s a good walker, a good chin scratcher, the most fun with games, and a great cook. I tried a few humans before I found the one for me. Which really brings me to another point. Don’t be afraid to shop around. Don’t settle. You deserve to be treated as well as you think you do. In my case, that means a lot of organic liver treats.”

TWO Don’t be afraid to let yourself rest

“Fun and games are great – really great with the right partner – but that doesn’t mean you can’t stop for a nap. I have Shag equipped with a couch AND a dog bed just for these occasions. And once in awhile I’ll even “catnap” (excuse the expression!) right by the register. That’s my point, there’s no wrong moment to take a breather. Mid-orgy? That’s okay. You leave the pile and get some water if you need to. Tell them Pearl said it was ok.”

THREE Trust your instincts – but admit when you’re wrong

“If you come into my store, into my space, and you’re smelling a little off (or like cats), I’ll let you know! I will bark and you’d better take it. But, listen, I’m not infallible. Some of my favorite people started off with an off smell, but turned out to be pretty amazing at tug-a-rope. You have to admit when you’re wrong or you’re the worst kind of bitch.”

FOUR Don’t be afraid to ask for (or demand) what you want

“If I want a belly rub, you will know I want one. And you’ll give me one. Because, people, if you haven’t gotten this yet, I tend to get my way. But that’s not the point here. The point is, you can get what you want, too. You have to ask though. When I want a rub, you can be damn sure I ask for one. I’ll stick my nose right up in between your legs until you get the point. And when I want you to play with my rope? That’s right, you get the picture: I bring you the rope.”

FIVE Don’t feel pressured to do things you don’t want to do

“If I don’t want to walk on a really hot day? That’s right, I don’t. I’ll just sit there; I tell Sam I’m not going to work that day, no way, no how. Same goes for you. Don’t be budged if you know something isn’t for you. Just because you were into it once, doesn’t mean you always have to be into it. Sex isn’t a contract and neither are walks from Greenpoint to Williamsburg.”

SIX Pursue pleasure

“This may be a part of asking for what you want, but, look, it’s more than that too. Pleasure is a central part of my life, most definitely, and it should be part of yours too. Ok, ok, ‘should’ is a strong word. Do what you want. But while I’m enjoying belly rubs, feasting on pieces of my favorite human foods – mmm, apples – and picking up all kinds of toys, you just think if you’re having as much pleasure as I am. Listen to your body, and if you don’t know how to, come by Shag. Either the humans here will give you some great advice or you can just watch me do my thing and, really, that will tell you all you need to know.”

SEVEN Cuddling isn’t for everyone and that’s okay

“Me? I’m not a cuddler. No thank you, I’d like my space. Now don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean I don’t like a nice rub or touch or session of affection for my pearly white body. It just means that sleeping is not the same as rubbing time, and I really don’t want to mix the two. I’m not being cold; I just want to sleep without touching. That’s ok! You? You’re a cuddler. Cool – find another cuddler for your cuddle needs. If you’re in a mismatched cuddling partnership, well then communication is key. But don’t force cuddles on a non-cuddler! Give them space and then, believe me, they’ll reward you with some lovin’.”

EIGHT Stay body positive; Have confidence always

“I’m not a pup, and I’m hot as ever. One sexy bitch, that’s me. All the little boy dogs I like to boss around, they love it just as much as they did before my muzzle was graying. Of course, my favorite dogs to boss around are the little girl dogs. Those tiny ladies love a tough domme like me; they crave the nips and order…but I digress. The point? When I’m putting a dog in their place, I don’t worry if I look hot doing it. I feel hot, and I know I must look it if I feel it.”

NINE Toys are great!

“I don’t really understand the hangup here. Stuff designed specifically to make life more exciting and fun than it would be without? I’m a big advocate. I have tons of toys to change it up, toys for every mood, old favorites and new things to flirt with. Fortunately for you, my human and I have a shop where you can find all sorts of your own toys. I really suggest you give them a try.”

TEN Use protection

“This is me in a rain slicker. It’s not my favorite, but I do look pretty amazing it in. My point? If I can venture out in the rain and realize that there are some awesome slickers, and furthermore that I look damned good, well then you can find the right protection for you. At Shag we only have about a million kinds…luxury condoms, non latex condoms, gloves, dental dams, flavored condoms, you name it. And I’ll bet you’ll look great and sexy with your protection, too. Maybe not as amazing as me in this slicker, but, listen, you can aspire to greatness. ‘Reach for the moon and maybe you’ll find the stars,’ is what one of my little doggy subs likes to say before I nip the quips right out of her. I’m the bitch with the wisdom here, ok.”

IMAG1126BONUS And…sometimes you have to nap with the (proverbial?) cat

“(And it’s not so bad!) Listen, you don’t like ‘em; I don’t like ‘em…ok, maybe you do like ‘em? Come to think of it, the Internet seems to have a weird blind spot in the feline direction…yet another thing that baffles me about you humans. All the same, my point stands, and I tolerate them. Sometimes, even if it’s not ideal, you find yourself sleeping with a cat. Sometimes life throws you bones (which is awesome!) and sometimes it throws you cats. And you just have to remember that you’ll probably get a bone soon and the cat’s pretty small anyway, so you still get most of the couch.”


Do you feel like you could benefit from Pearl’s wisdom? (I mean, let’s be honest, who couldn’t?) Feel free to stop by Shag and ask the grand dame herself. She’s usually working. Or, you can send her a message. Consider it your own personal ASK PEARL column. And if we do publish your question online, you’ll get a coupon code good for 10% off anything in our webstore!

Darla Reviews: Ora by Lelo


What it is:

The new Ora, by Lelo, is one of the prettiest and most surprising toys I’ve had the joy of playing with. It is an external stimulator that has a knob that either quickly flicks or rotates in long sensual strokes, creating a sensation similar to oral sex. The appearance of it is as sexy as it will make you, featuring some embellishing metal around the center, and soft high-grade silicone around the exterior. This toy has 10 different modes, on top of a variety of intensities for each. Lelo also boasts that this toy has a new ‘intense’ mode that is said to give you 30% more power instantly.

What it does:

The Ora looks like a new kind of Bluetooth speaker, so they get an A+ for discretion. Lelo also stepped up their game with the new intense setting. Folks, I’m happy to announce it is all that, AND a bag of chips! The vibration is more stimulating and deeply penetrating, without changing the frequency much. The cycling knob that is below a blanket of silicone is the perfect size, very much like the tip of a tongue. It flicks either in a quick back and forth half circle, or it can make a full revolution with varying pressures. This is how it achieves that unpredictable and intimate feeling you get from cunnilingus. With all these different options, it’s not as much work as it sounds. Think of it like this; just lay back, flip through the channels, and be pleasantly surprised by each.

The Verdict:

For the most part, Ora really delivered. The orbiting combined with vibration was fabulous. It gave the sensation that I was not in control, which is amazing given I’m holding onto the little sucker. Although the rotation is superb, the knob catches on the silicone when pressure is applied. This causes a hiccup in the whole process. One of the best parts about oral is having all your lovely creases probed, and this toy doesn’t quite take a pounding like I wish it would. However, much like the real thing, this is the perfect way to warm up. If you like a soft sensual touch, this is the toy for you. (I paired this with the GiGi2 by Lelo. It’s safe to say I felt like the conductor of a symphony afterward.) It truly left me dripping and ravenous.

Darla Day

(This information is solely for informational purposes. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. Also, please see our full DISCLAIMER)

G-Spot Advice, part II: The Epic Squirt!!

Hello guys and gals,

Now it’s time for the second installment on G-spot orgasms and the hotly sought after squirt! The Kama Sutra references squirting regularly and it is a prominent feature in tantric sex. Some have said it’s the ‘holy grail’ of sex.

(If any of you missed it, here’s Part I: the introduction to the g-spot and how to find it.)

Depending on the sex position, I’ve squirted just enough for my lover to feel a liquid rush around his penis, up to the point of soaking his lap and leaving a fist sized spot on the bed.

The first time I realized ‘my dam had burst’, I was very confused, almost as much as my sex partner. Neither of us had ever experienced anything like it. Most people have heard of the squirting phenomena, or at least seen a video of it, but not everybody has had the pleasure of experiencing it first hand. Those who are unfamiliar may be put off by the idea of what and where the liquid originates. If a woman doesn’t have testicles, where does it cum from? (hehe)

Scientists have discovered a gland that resides in a woman’s tunnel of love that helps keep it juicy. This is called the Skene’s gland, located very close to the G-spot. With stimulation, together they will produce a squirt. The Skene’s gland is often compared to the male prostate. The liquid that is secreted has been proven to be nothing like urine, but rather a substance very similar to semen, minus the sperm of course. (For more information on the science behind it, this source is fantastic.)

With titillating attention, the Skene’s gland and G-spot will grow. They grow because they are filling up with liquid. Skeptics say it’s wee, but after the fluid was tested, no ammonia or urinary chemicals were found. It seems to me that the Skene’s gland may act similarly to the glands that produce our tears. They both aren’t constantly filled with liquid, but with proper stimuation, they produce and release fluids as a way to soothe the body and mind.

With all of this in mind, remember that every person is different. Some women have no desire to experience squirting. Ladies can still enjoy sex without ejaculating or squirting. The intimacy can be just as fulfilling and erotic.

My favorite sex position for a good squirt would have to be ‘the lusty lap dance’. This puts me on top, riding my sitting man, aligning my breasts with his mouth. Instead of just going up and down, try leaning back slightly, while swaying back and forth. This will help with G-spot stimulation. Other great positions for this include spooning, reverse cowgirl, and the slow climb (like missionary, but the penetrated bottom puts their legs over the top’s shoulders). The orgasm from squirting is the deepest and most mind blowing I’ve ever had. It rolls over you like high tide, taking you to an entirely different place. The most satisfying aspect is ultimately letting everything go and feeling pleasure to the fullest. The actual act of squirting is unlike any other sensation. You don’t feel the liquid rush out, but rather you feel your vagina grasping for dear life as it pulses around your lover. Toys designed for G-spot pleasure are great to help you squirt. The Gigi2 by Lelo has been very effective for me.

After having been ejaculated on too many times to count, now it’s our turn ladies. Go out there and share the love!


(This information is solely for informational purposes. IT IS NOT INTENDED TO PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. Also, please see our full DISCLAIMER)